had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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