Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
