he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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