I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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