I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Couch. On fire.
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