Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I have aggressive nipples.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Why is there bacon in the couch?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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