I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
