Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
