So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
