i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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