bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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