Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
