please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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