Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.

Fav 58 6668 1057
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(303): View more from Colorado

You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.

Fav 22 5068 1240
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(903): View more from Texas

pop tarts are not kleenex

Fav 16 1364 5039
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(360): View more from Washington

Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.

Fav 12 4761 967
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(716): View more from New York

I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.

Fav 25 6252 1524
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(757): View more from Virginia

It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"

Fav 14 5679 1198
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(541): View more from Oregon

No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.

Fav 6 2536 658
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(509): View more from Washington

Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.

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(210): View more from Texas

Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.

Fav 0 48 13
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