I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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