I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
