So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
