He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
