I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
