2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
