Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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