I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
