there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
