your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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