new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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