I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Found your dick twin last night
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
