Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
