I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
