quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
it's like heaven, but drunker
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
