grandma shit on top of the toilet
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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