I can text with my tongue
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
