I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
