Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
