I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
