This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You're a waste of cheezeits
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Randomize
