she was so not down for the gang bang
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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