Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
