garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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