all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
