P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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