His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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