Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
