the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
