life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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