420 ftw
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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