Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
