3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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