Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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