Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
