Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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