I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
