Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
