I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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