Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
