Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
