Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
