Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You dont lie about slip and slides
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
