More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
